


Sir Komlin Can't Stop This

by friendlyneighborhoodfairy



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Reever and Lenalee scheming together, Tea, semi homophobic universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:15:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendlyneighborhoodfairy/pseuds/friendlyneighborhoodfairy
Summary: Reever knows it's wrong to be attracted to Komui. He keeps it hidden and is happy to take care of Komui as a friend. Except for the fact that Komui is always pushing back, which Reever does not understand.When Reever helps Lenalee plan the best birthday Komui has ever had, Komui's effusive gratitude threatens to make Reever do something embarrassing--like faint, or blush, or...But it turns out Komui might want some of the things Reever has stopped daring to hope for.Do not copy my work to other sites.
Relationships: Komui Lee/Reever Wenham, referenced Kanda Yuu/Allen Walker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Sir Komlin Can't Stop This

**Author's Note:**

> Set during during the earlier volumes (anime seasons 1 and 2). Some spoilers.

Reever sighed as he followed Komui around another corner, hand hovering by Komui's shoulder to yank him back just in case.

As soon as they caught sight of Lenalee and Johnny again, Komui resumed hissing about all the ways this was _definitely_ a date, he never gave Johnny permission for this, and it was a terrible date idea on top of that.

"You don't take a girl to a place like this, especially on a first date! At least take her somewhere cozy like Kaffin's."

"It's not like we have particularly large salaries," Reever pointed out, only half paying attention—he could have these arguments with Komui in his sleep.

"That's why I mention Kaffin's; it's not too expensive," Komui retorted, turning to him.

That gaze made Reever finally pay attention.

"You know, Kaffin's does sound nice. Chief, this is yet another reason why you know this isn't a date."

"I do not know that. Johnny's the kind of person who wouldn't know any better."

"Don't say that about your own people," Reever sighed.

To his surprise, when he opened his eyes, Komui was eying him.

"I'm not doubting Johnny's intellect, abilities, loyalty, or personality." Komui lifted his nose. "Just his worthiness to be with my sister."

Reever shook his head. "Nobody's worthy in your mind."

"Exactly."

Komui returned to avidly watching Johnny's every move and growling about manipulation any time he made Lenalee laugh.

"So what would you do on a first date?" Reever asked, trying to keep Komui occupied. He'd long since given up trying to hold Komui back at the Order when these things happened—it actually seemed to soothe Komui's more murderous tendencies to have Lenalee in line of sight. Reever had decided to give himself the task not of stopping Komui but of making sure the unlucky sap survived the encounter. This time, the sap was Johnny.

Poor Johnny should know better than to be alone with their boss's pride and joy. Reever might need to talk to him.

"Why does my opinion matter?" Komui asked, still watching Lenalee.

"Hm?" The pause had thrown Reever off. "For first dates? I don't know, I was just asking. Making conversation. It doesn't matter: not like any of us could even picture you taking a girl out."

Reever was fascinated when Komui _blushed._

"My idea of a date isn't exactly… Well, I wouldn't date someone stupid, would I?" Komui said, and Reever wasn't sure if this were rhetorical or not.

He'd just opened his mouth to respond—

"Somewhere like Kaffin's would be perfect, in my opinion. For a first date. Quiet."

"Does sound nice," Reever agreed, shifting his feet. "Can't get to know someone when you can't hear them."

"Precisely. You could have a whole conversation and nobody would disturb you or pay you any mind. Not to mention…"

Komui peeked around the corner to check on Lenalee.

"Not to mention?" Reever prompted.

"Well, comfort food loosens people up, doesn't it?" Komui said, still watching the street. "You feel at home…with each other. Makes it easier to talk and just…act normally. You know what I mean?"

"Um, yeah," Reever said, thrown off by the fact that Komui was, for the first time Reever had heard, stuttering.

And suddenly, Reever felt embarrassed, hearing all this, this personal information. The fact that he was storing it in a place nobody would ever know about. Knowledge he would never use.

It was too intimate, and it wasn't alright.

"Yeah, right," Reever said, stretching his shoulders.

"You agree?"

Reever stared at Komui's back.

"Never thought about it, did I?" Reever said gruffly. "Not like I have time when I'm always holed up at headquarters."

"Exactly," Komui agreed. "Yes, exactly."

Lenalee's laugh tumbled across to them from the café, and Komui huffed.

"I don't need a woman in my life," Komui mumbled.

"Of course not, Chief. You've got all the love your heart needs." Smiling, Reever nodded his head in Lenalee's direction.

"Yes." Komui seemed relieved, and for a moment something vulnerable and tender entered his eyes. "I suppose I do."

* * *

They made it back to the Order without anyone murdering Johnny.

"I promise you, they're not dating," Reever said for the hundredth time. "When you see Lenalee and ask her, she'll tell you. I'd bet you anything."

"Betting is a sin," Komui sniffed, an excuse he only used to get out of things. "Where is she…? She should've gotten the note by now."

They'd followed Lenalee and Johnny back to headquarters, and Johnny had gone down to the lab while Lenalee went to her room. By the time they got to her—Reever had to first persuade Komui to talk to her and not Johnny, as an encounter with Johnny would make Komui angry no matter how it turned out and there were lots of dangerous substances in the lab (Komui saw the wisdom in that)—her door was shut and the sound of a shower audible.

Komui left a scribbled note shoved under her door and Reever escorted him back to his office. More like half-carried him, as the whole ordeal seemed to have wilted Komui substantially.

Reever still hadn't left Komui's office. He didn't need to stay any longer, but it was better to keep an eye on Komui and make sure he didn't go sneaking off to find Johnny. Or reanimate Sir Komlin. Reever knew the destroyed pieces of the last one had mysteriously vanished, into Komui's rooms no doubt. Nobody ever went into Komui's rooms, so it was the perfect hiding spot.

Ironically, if Lenalee ever _did_ want to see a boy, Komui's rooms were the best place for her to do it secretly. Nobody ever betrayed the sacredness of the Chief's private space, and Komui himself often didn't go to his rooms for days at a time. Maybe Reever was the only person who was aware just how much Komui slept at his desk.

Or at others' desks. Komui might look like a lazy genius, but when everyone was finally asleep, Komui went around and completed others' work. Reever had caught him at it twice, and now was quite used to Tup or others waking up among their papers and saying, "Oh! I forgot I finished this already! Thank God."

Reever was surprised nobody else had realized, considering that usually Komui was asleep under a nearby table whenever this happened.

Reever yawned. What a day.

Komui was finally calm, the office quiet now, Reever reclining on the sofa and contemplating while Komui read a book with his head in both hands.

The book snapped shut and Reever jumped.

"She's only sixteen!" Komui burst out.

Oh dear. Still upset, then.

"You telling me you weren't dating by that age?" Reever retorted.

Okay, getting Komui to blush was seriously amusing.

"We're men, Reever," Komui said austerely.

"So?"

"It's entirely different."

"Y-Yeah." Something opened up in the pit of Reever's stomach, dark and hollow. "Yeah."

_We're men._

_It's entirely_

_entirely_

_different._

"I'm gonna go, Chief. I left some work on my desk."

"Oh." Komui looked surprised, then put on his comically disappointed face. "Well. Alright."

* * *

Reever put a stack of completed reports on a precarious but free corner of Komui's desk.

"Oh dear, that's a lot," Komui said, eying them with trepidation.

"It's surprising that people who deal with language every day can't come up with a simpler way to say things."

"This is just the linguistic reports?"

"Yep."

"Well, take a seat," Komui said with a weary smile. "We might as well dig in."

"I already signed off on all the ones that needed me. Didn't want to hold you up like last time."

"Oh." Komui looked down at what he'd been working on before Reever came in. "Oh. Of course. How logical of you, Section—"

The rest of his words were swallowed by a gigantic sneeze.

"Are you okay?" Reever asked in concern, reaching for Komui's shoulder.

"Fine, fine," Komui smiled, pulling out from under his fingers—and Reever pretended that it didn't hurt, because after all, they were boss and underling, and such casual familiarity wouldn't make sense. Until he got these emotions under control, he ought to keep his distance anyway.

Reever stepped back, wondering if he should go and leave Komui to it.

"Some of Long's tea sounds amazing right now," Komui muttered, glancing at the window and the rain spattering it.

"I can send someone," Reever offered, but Komui shook his head.

"Now, now, I know everyone is busy. We don't have time for such mundane things."

His comforting smile was ruined by another explosive sneeze. The only other person Reever knew whose sneezes rattled windows was Jerry, who had once popped an eardrum just from that.

"Chief, I'm not sure you should be—"

"I'm fine!" Komui laughed ridiculously, waving a hand. "Really. Reever, I get enough of that from Lenalee."

There it was: the steel barricade of Komui's broad smile. When Komui smiled like that, there was nothing Reever could say to get past Komui's lies of _no, really, I'm fine._

Reever sighed and trudged out.

Komui was right that everyone was busy—except for Reever himself, who had finished those reports and had nothing pressing for his attention until tomorrow. He made his way to the cafeteria, but halfway there spun around and headed to the stairs. Komui was so busy and clearly coming down with something and nobody ever did anything for him…

Which was how Reever ended up shivering and soaking wet, dashing through the streets with his bundle held carefully under his coat to keep it dry.

If Komui got seriously sick, it would hold up approvals and allocations and signatures and generally prevent work from getting done. This was _important,_ he told himself. And nobody ever did anything for Komui, because Komui didn't let them.

Arriving back at headquarters, Reever shoved the tea at Johnny and said, "Make a big pot of that and take it to the Chief, would you?"

"Where are you going?" Johnny asked in alarm.

"To change," Reever said without looking back.

Every footstep landed with a _squelch,_ but even shivery and half-numb, Reever felt inexplicably happy.

* * *

By the end of the week, Reever had come down with a cold. On the plus side, Komui had not.

Reever tried to keep working, despite protests of coworkers, until Komui himself came in and shooed him away from his desk.

"If you don't get some sleep voluntarily, I will give you a sleeping draught," Komui said, and Reever practically ran to his bedroom.

No way was he taking any of Komui's concoctions. It was nice to sleep and take care of himself, though. Maybe Reever needed to be forced into these things sometimes.

* * *

"I—I have!" Johnny stammered. His voice was loud enough to catch Reever's attention. The argument had been raging for some time, but he'd tuned it out half an hour ago.

"No, you haven't," Tup snorted. "You would've told me. You wouldn't have been able to keep _quiet._ "

"I have too kissed someone, so shut up!"

"You know," Komui said calmly behind them, and the pair started. "The easiest way to verify is to ask for details, Dop."

Tup looked at him with a dim frown. Under his breath, Reever chortled; he saw where this was going.

"Unless, of course, you have no experience of your own to compare it to. Then Johnny could say whatever he liked. So I guess a valid question would be, have _you_ kissed anyone?"

Johnny turned on Tup with a victorious grin, while Tup looked around like he'd been cornered.

Reever wasn't entirely certain this would end the argument as Komui undoubtedly hoped, but at least it would change the tide for a while. He was tired of Johnny's anxious screech.

"Chief," Caligula spoke up mischievously from another table, making Reever turn around. Her tone could only mean trouble.

"Yes?" Komui asked, stopping his trek across the lab.

"Have you ever kissed someone?"

"Why does that matter?" Komui asked.

"Just asking," Caligula smirked.

Reever looked quickly back at his work, trying to ignore the burning sensation in his face. Coughing took over and he used it as an excuse to hide.

"Maybe I'll answer you if you get your work done," Komui teased, continuing on his way. "Reever? Are you alright?"

"Perfectly fine, Chief!" Reever coughed, and kept his head bent over his books until Komui—rather slowly it seemed—left the room.

"What about you, Section Chie—" Caligula began.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Reever hissed. She shut up.

* * *

"Oh, Reeeeeever!"

Lenalee's cheerful voice echoing in Reever's office shocked him out of his trance.

"What's going on?" he asked with a tired smile. "You're back already?"

"I never left London, actually. The Finders discovered it was a dud and Komui called me back right as I was boarding my train."

"Oh. I hadn't heard." Reever hadn't seen Komui in a few days. (He'd never heard Komui's answer to Caligula whether Komui had kissed someone.)

"Can I talk to you?" Lenalee asked, hands behind her back and expression showing pure angelic charm.

He could've snorted. She had her brother's acting skills. This was how both Lees motivated people so well. (How Allen did too, for that matter.)

"Give me one moment."

Crossing the office, Reever flung open a door and put the papers in his hands on a table.

"These are for Marvin," he shouted to the room at large. "Tell him to finish them up and get them to Mark by the end of the day."

Ducking back in, he wiped his hands and motioned for Lenalee to accompany him out of the office.

"What is it?" he asked, leading the way toward the cafeteria.

"I need your help planning something."

"Planning." Reever looked sideways at her. "That's really not my forte."

"You manage a lab and oversee the entire science division, Reever. You can definitely manage this," she said, rolling her eyes. "Listen: Komui is turning twenty-nine next week. I want to do something for him."

"Wait, what? His birthday? Did I know this?"

"Every year he refuses to let me do anything," Lenalee said. "So, no, I don't think hardly anyone knows when his birthday is. But he's been under so much stress lately and I want to do something that will make him feel special."

"What stress?"

"You haven't noticed?"

His insides curled up in guilt. Watching over Komui was kind of his job. Komui didn't have an assistant; Reever was the next best thing.

"I don't know what you all are doing, but he's been looking more ragged than normal. And I don't like that," she declared, looking as fierce as Komui did when protecting her. Reever smiled.

"Me neither," he said, motioning her to go ahead of him as they entered the cafeteria. The smell of food was enough to make him a little nauseous just from hunger. Maybe the whole division had been overworking lately…

Once seated with plates, he asked, "So what are we going to do about it?"

"I want to do a surprise," she said. "Unless you think he wouldn't like that? Niisan has never celebrated his birthday in as long as I can remember. Would a surprise just make him more anxious? I don't know."

Reever chewed for a long moment.

"I don't think it being a surprise, or not, will affect him as much as how big this thing is. Komui is happiest when he's with just his close friends and family and nobody else."

Lenalee blinked at him. "Are you kidding? My brother, the man in charge? He's the biggest extrovert at HQ."

"Maybe, but he also likes to make people happy. And the more people present, the more people he has to cheer up. If you want him to actually kick back, just invite the few people he trusts and doesn't feel so responsible for."

"So you're saying I shouldn't be there," she teased.

He laughed at that.

"Oh, c'mon. He's not happy unless you're around." Shaking his head, he told her, "When you're gone, he has two modes: either getting twice as much done because he's trying to forget you're gone, or getting nothing done because he's too worried about you."

"Really?" She bit her lip. "Poor Komui. I wouldn't leave if I didn't have to."

Reever nodded. There was no changing that; everyone knew it. Komui had to send her out on assignments, and she had to do them. Reever suspected that if Komui could take her place as accommodator, he would in an instant.

Maybe the world was lucky that Komui didn't get that wish. The Order was a thousand times better with Komui running it. The place where he was needed, where everyone needed him, was at the top of the food chain, protecting them all. Komui knew it too. That was why he stayed.

"Alright," Lenalee said, "so a small gathering. What should we do? What kind of food? My brother's preferred sustenance is coffee, but that's not quite a balanced menu."

They shared a grin.

"I wonder if Jerry would be terribly offended if we asked him to whip up the menu at Kaffin's," Reever mused.

"Kaffin's?"

"It's Komui's comfort food, and it's fancy. Who doesn't like fancy comfort food for their birthday?"

"I knew you'd be the perfect person," Lenalee smiled. "I didn't know that about him."

"I don't think we should ask Jerry to cook," Reever went on, trying not to blush. "Komui will want to hang out with him, not eat his food. Maybe we should just do Kaffin's itself. There's a table in the back—I can make a reservation."

"Awesome," Lenalee said, blinking and smiling. "Yes. Wow. Great. Who are we inviting?"

"Jerry, Zhu, Bak," Reever immediately listed. "Saanvi, too—she's another one of his Asia Branch friends. Marvin, Amy…I think that sums up his closer friends—the people who don't just see him as _Chief,_ you know?"

"Yes. Plus you, me, and Komui… Ten. That's not too big, right?"

"I think he'll love it," Reever smiled.

* * *

"Lenalee, what is this all about?" Komui asked for the hundredth time. "Why is Reever here? What's going on?"

Reever sighed and tried to keep Komui following by force of will. He was the one assigned to oust Komui from the office and bring him, but Lenalee had joined at the last minute, and maybe that was a good thing, because she could physically drag on his arm when he got belligerent. Reever wouldn't quite dare to touch him so familiarly.

On the other hand, Komui seemed more inclined to argue with her than he would've with Reever.

"I just don't get it," Komui went on. "I have work to do. Reever, too. Why would you interrupt his important work?"

"You need to eat," Lenalee growled.

"That's why we have Jerry," he protested.

"Not like you've been eating much at the cafeteria either, Chief," Reever called back.

"What?" Lenalee demanded.

"Reever!" Komui protested. "How could you out me like that?"

"You've been skipping meals?" Lenalee asked in her dangerous voice. "Do I need to make good on my threat?"

"No!"

Turning a corner amid the lamplit streets, Reever glanced back. "What threat?"

"To pick him up and drop him on the scale, and if he's lost so much as a kilogram, to strap him to a chair until he gains it back!"

"Whoa, Chief," Reever grinned over his shoulder. "Your little sister monitors your weight?"

"Oh, hush," Komui pouted. "It was just one time."

"You lost almost thirty kilograms in the space of two months!"

"Wait, what?" Reever exclaimed and stopped dead, while Komui turned on Lenalee with something between frustration and pleading.

"Now you're the one outing my secrets," Komui protested to her. "Reever doesn't need to know that."

"I think I do," Reever interrupted. "I'd like you to live past thirty."

Komui pouted dramatically, but avoided Reever's eye with a shyness that was unusual. Reever felt happily warm. Like he'd gotten away with something illegal.

"Here we are," Reever announced, smiling.

Komui looked around. "Where is here?"

"Dear Lord." Lenalee rolled her eyes and pushed Komui in the door of Kaffin's restaurant.

* * *

Komui exclaimed happily as soon as he saw the restaurant name. And then again, when he saw the people inside. The pure, surprised, humble joy on his face radiated out to the rest of them. Reever wondered if his own cheeks would burst from grinning this wide. Pulling a prank on his superior was fun, and making Komui look _that_ happy, when Komui never quite looked happy even when he was smiling or reassuring you or…

The humility on Komui's face was a little heart-breaking, too. He shouldn't look so shocked to be doted on. It shouldn't be something so rare that Komui looked, several times, on the edge of joyous tears.

By pure happenstance, Reever ended up between Bak and Komui, which meant he got to see Komui's warm smile all night and listen to his exclamations over every single piece of food put in front of him.

Komui nudged him often, as Reever figured into many of his anecdotes, and they ended up telling amusing stories together to the rest of the table. It felt nice, and the touch was minimal enough that Reever told himself it was fine to enjoy.

Bak and Saanvi pulled Reever into conversation at one point, and Reever learned some of the silly stories of Komui's early days. The laughter and merriment settled him into a state of blissful satisfaction.

Eventually Reever felt a tug on his sleeve.

"A toast," Komui insisted. "To the two people who made this happen."

Arm around Lenalee, his beaming smile aimed at Reever, Komui tipped back his fourth glass. Around the table, people cheered and drank. Reever just kept watching Komui watching him; he knew his face was fuchsia.

"Thank you," Komui said sincerely, his voice pitched low, just for Reever.

Reever's entire body could've burst into flames.

"Aw, Chief," he teased loudly, managing somehow to keep breathing. "Are we going to have to carry you back to your room?"

Komui giggled and rolled his eyes.

* * *

They did have to help him back. To be fair, they were all a bit tipsy, even Lenalee, who didn't drink and was tipsy purely on happiness.

It was the most Reever had ever seen Komui enjoy himself, and by Lenalee's awed smile, he wondered if it was the most Komui had ever enjoyed himself, period.

Reever felt really good about that. Komui deserved to be special.

When they passed the exorcists' quarters, Lenalee peeled off with a yawn, leaving Reever to shoulder Komui. (There wasn't a lot of weight. Maybe Lenalee was right to be worried.)

There was plenty of laughter and stumbling as they made their way down: Komui was a hoot and a half, and in Reever's current state of exhaustion and contentment, he found all Komui's jokes funny.

At Komui's door, Reever disentangled them, wondering over the fact that this was the closest he'd been with his chief…ever. Maybe there was a little more trust between them now. It was nice.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he said, feeling the bulge and reaching into his pocket. "Happy birthday, Chief."

"Chief?" Komui said, raising an eyebrow as he took the gift.

"Komui," Reever amended with a shy smile. "Happy birthday, Komui Lee."

Komui pulled off the paper and made a noise of enthusiasm. "We just ran out at the coffee station! How did you know?"

"Like anyone could miss you drinking three cups a day of that stuff. Hey, I'm glad you're not just living on coffee anymore. Tea is better for you."

"Long's is the best," Komui said rapturously.

"There's three blends in there, too," Reever said. "In case you were getting bored of drinking breakfast tea in the afternoon."

Komui let out a delighted laugh and clapped a hand on Reever's shoulder.

As Komui pushed open the door to his rooms, he tugged amicably on Reever. "Come in, come in! Let's have some of this. I can't sleep right now anyway."

"Neither can I," Reever admitted. Komui squeezed his arm.

It felt almost sacrilegious to walk in here, like he'd been invited into a sanctum of God. Except far more homey. There were half-finished projects everywhere, and the room was full of bright colors and an overabundance of pillows.

"Lenalee doesn't like me kneeling on the floor," Komui explained as Reever sifted a path to the sofa. "Says it contributes to bruises."

"Bruises? Been working with Kanda?" Reever asked with a laugh.

"What? No, not bruises like that. Just the usual."

Reever raised an eyebrow. "Bruises shouldn't be usual."

"Reever Wenhamm, we work for the Black Order. Of course they are. You mean to tell me you've never sleep-walked into a filing cabinet before?"

"I actually sleep in my bed. Like normal people."

"Oh, har," Komui snorted.

"Don't 'har' me," Reever chortled. "I know exactly how often you sleep at your desk. And other people's."

With a mysterious smile, Komui twirled away and began heating water in the corner with a strange contraption.

"I knew you were inventive, but I didn't realize how broad your interests were," Reever commented. He stared at a machine in the corner. "Is that a materials tester?"

"Ah, yes. I made that when Johnny was trying to come up with indestructible fabrics for the new uniforms. This sped up the process by a fair margin."

Reever gazed around in awe. So much brilliance just sitting here quietly unacknowledged.

A tiny robot crawled up the arm of the sofa and Reever picked it up. Damn, the thing was intricate and frankly a work of art.

"Chief," he asked—

"No," Komui cut him off. "You're in my private rooms. Call me Komui here."

Against his will, Reever reddened.

"Right. Komui. How did you become the chief?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're brilliant. I would've thought they'd shove you in a lab somewhere with a big budget and an unending supply of assistants."

Komui laughed, bright and long.

"You're sweet. But consider it this way: if I'm smart enough for that, wouldn't I be smart enough to make my way here?"

"I'm not saying you're not qualified—I'm saying you're overqualified."

"Oh, I know. But my objective wasn't to simply build and deconstruct things all day. Engineering fascinates me, but it's not my passion."

"Ah, right." Reever nodded, thinking of Lenalee. "Sorry, it was a dumb question."

"Not at all." Striding over, Komui handed him a cup before sitting beside him on the sofa, eyes tracing Reever curiously. "I didn't…just do it for my sister. I mean, she's why I came here, and worked so hard, and… But what I mean is, my passion is people. Machines you can take apart and see exactly how they work, but people are far more complex. The human mind fascinates me to no end. Being in charge is a little like a daily experiment in human behavior, wouldn't you say?"

Reever snorted, and when Komui laughed, he joined in, the pair of them chuckling into their tea.

When silence fell again, Reever felt the air was lighter, more open. This open conversation was…new. Komui might let some parts of himself be evident to the world, but he was far from an open book.

There was so much of him that Reever wanted to know. And he wasn't sure if that was okay to want.

"They wouldn't let me see her," Komui said quietly.

"Wait, Lenalee? When?"

"When I first came to the Order." Komui set his tea down on something that was shifting back and forth, and it froze instantly to balance his cup. His eyes stayed on the horizon. "She was tiny when she was taken away. It'd been years. I'd heard nothing—I knew she was alive, but that was it. I wanted to see her. It was the whole reason I'd joined. But they said…no. Thought it would distract me from my work."

 _And, rightly, assumed Komui would stop the experiments they were doing on her._ Watching him, Reever saw the sad ache crumple Komui's brow and wished he could comfort it away.

Komui steepled his fingers.

"So…I stopped asking. Didn't mention her once in the next three years except to Bak—he was the one person who understood what it's like to have family in the Order. I just worked hard and pretended to be impartial. Even when I heard rumors that they were…" Komui shook his head, fingers pressed tightly together. "So they promoted me. I was good at my job and I passed all their unspoken tests: willingness to sacrifice everything, duty over family. That is the real reason why I am the head of operations. Because I made them think I was someone I'm not."

Reever smiled. "It was brilliant watching them realize that. When you kept shutting down barbaric projects and replacing them with better things that actually made more sense—and they couldn't argue with you because you were getting results. Bigger results than ever before.

"Remember your first year, when we collected more innocence than in any other three years combined? I remember someone saying it was amazing the exorcists got more done despite laughing more—as if amazed that happy people could be successful," Reever snorted. "Every time some bishop came through and saw what you'd stopped, and what you'd built instead…it was the most satisfying thing I've ever seen."

"Reever Wenhamm, are you speaking out against the Church?" Komui asked, mockingly aghast with a hand to his chest.

"As if. Just because they work for God doesn't mean they're sinless."

Komui's mask dropped in an instant. "That's the truth," he said heavily.

"C'mon." Reever nudged him with an elbow. "I didn't mean to bring up something so depressing. It's your birthday. Aren't I supposed to cheer you up or something?"

Komui chortled, but his smile returned. "Is it still my birthday? I thought it was after midnight."

Reever checked his watch. "You've got a few minutes."

"Oo, really?"

"Yup. Any final birthday wishes?"

For a moment—just a moment—Komui eyed him with a coy smirk. And then it was gone and instead, serenity smoothed the lines of his face. Sighing, Komui reached over and, with the most sincere gaze, patted Reever's hand.

"Let's just enjoy the last few minutes, shall we?"

"Uh, yeah," Reever said, freezing under the touch. When Komui's hand moved away, Reever jerked so hard he almost splashed tea everywhere. Hurriedly he took a sip—and choked.

"Careful," Komui said in concern. "It's still quite hot."

"Yes, I noticed," Reever coughed, red-faced. "Ow."

"My dear Reever, are you alright?" Komui asked, leaning forward.

"Yes—agh! Don't, ugh, don't get so close."

The words were out before he could stop them. Reever flushed. He could feel Komui's gaze, and he couldn't meet it.

"I—S-Sorry," Komui stuttered, backing up.

"No, it's fine, I'm sorry," Reever rushed. He wanted Komui to smile again. The ease they'd had a few seconds ago. "It just makes me nervous."

"Really?" Komui laughed queerly. "I make you nervous?"

Reever felt heat right up to the roots of his hair. "Y-Yes. Sorry."

"Is it because I'm a superior officer?"

"Maybe." Reever's voice was hoarse.

"Is there a way to…change that?" Komui asked.

Reever felt faint.

"I-I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Komui murmured. "It's my fault."

"Nothing's your fault," Reever said. "It's just me. I'm sorry."

"If I were more approachable…"

"You are approachable," Reever insisted, stronger now. "And personable and kind. People like you, and they trust you. It's what makes you a good leader."

Komui's face contorted strangely. Reever realized: Komui was blushing.

"But you don't trust me?" Komui whispered.

"I do."

"Then…"

"I told you," Reever said, "it's me. I'm sorry." He felt very close to a confession, and not the good kind. The kind where he told Komui, _I'm a sinful man who can't help wanting other men. I keep my distance to keep my emotions controlled._ It couldn't get more humiliating than that. But if there were anyone who would love him in spite of it, it was Komui. If anyone were to still accept him…

It was why he'd fallen for Komui. Because Komui always made room for him, time for him, space to exist in whatever way he needed. Komui was always there. Even when he didn't have to be.

"I'm sorry," Reever whispered. He closed his eyes. If he could just stop it. Turn this part of him off.

Komui let the silence drift, comfortable and nonjudgmental. Reever sucked in a long breath of fresh air and let it out.

"I just get nervous when some people…men are physically close. It's hard to explain. I'm sorry it…discomfits you."

"It doesn't discomfit me," Komui said. "I just think it's too bad. Because… I like it."

At some point, Komui had slid nearer on the sofa. Close enough Reever could smell him, could simply lean over and they'd be touching.

"You l-like what?" Reever asked. There was no way to stop the stammer. Komui was too close and his heart was going _way_ too fast.

"It was going to be my final birthday wish," Komui sighed. "Isn't it the way a good date should end?"

"Date—what?"

"Come now." Komui ducked his head, looking bashful. "You think I didn't notice? You think I don't remember our conversations? I thought you considered me smart."

"You are."

"If it wasn't the sign it was meant to be, Reever, you really ought to go now," Komui said softly. "And I'll forget all the embarrassing things I'm saying and never speak them again."

Reever stayed rooted to the sofa. "I'm not leaving."

Komui gave the floor a gentle, heartbroken smile. "You sure?"

"Yes." Reever cleared his throat and tried to chuckle. "Not sure my legs would support me right now."

Looking up into his eyes, Komui smiled at him.

And leaned in.

Reever felt the air grow thin as the amount of sofa between them disappeared. He was too anxious to even turn his body to be properly facing this—this _revelation,_ because if he turned he'd be looking Komui Lee full on and that would be the end of his life as he knew it.

"I th-thought the Lee siblings had a no-dating policy?" Reever stuttered as Komui's hand landed beside his. In a furtive move, Reever covered Komui's fingers with his own.

Now they were holding hands. And Komui wasn't pulling away—on the contrary, he seemed to have moved nearer—and Reever could've danced. Or passed out. Komui's blushing smile was the most gratifying thing he'd ever seen and he really wanted to grip Komui's hand properly, but he was terrified to mess things up.

Komui gave him an enticing smile, but spoke gently, "Sir Komlin only protects my sister's honor. Mine's…available."

With another smile, a hint of fear lurking in his eyes, Komui finished the journey to Reever's lips and kissed him.

Reever had never kissed anyone before. There'd been a girl or two, depositing quick kisses that caught him totally by surprise and weren't reciprocated. He'd never kissed like this, with someone he actually liked, and have it mean something. Where that man's mouth stayed close to his, and waited for his brain to catch up so that Reever could kiss back, his free hand sliding up into Komui's hair.

And oh, god, Komui was making a sound into his mouth, a quiet noise of desire that lengthened into a plea. Reever pushed back against that plea, lips seeking more, tongue sliding into his mouth. That was the taste of Komui, and that was Reever's heart beating in his throat, and Reever was ready to kiss him forever if Komui wanted.

Komui's hand registered as it settled at Reever's waist, and he gasped a little from the shock of it—and suddenly he was looking Komui in the eye.

They both looked away quickly.

"I'm sorry—shit," Reever stuttered. "Shit. I know that's a sin; I—"

"Reever," Komui murmured gently, and Reever shut up.

He didn't want to let go of Komui.

"There are a few things I've learned," Komui said softly, leaning his forehead against Reever's and caressing his cheek. "One of them is that this feeling is something I cannot change. Can you?"

Reever shook his head. "I…I try. I tried so hard. I'm sorry."

"Which tells me," Komui interrupted carefully, "that this feeling is natural. Another thing I've learned…is that life is pain. For us here, it's even worse. Amid that agony, God gives us little spots of joy: the people who shine God's love upon us. If this is something we cannot change, and something which produces goodness and light, then how can it be wrong? How can it be forbidden?"

"It wasn't always," Reever choked out. "I…read things. Old manuscripts. It used to be… The Church, um…sanctified unions regardless of people's genders."

He'd read those manuscripts, and hadn't believed it. It was too good, too much what he wanted. Clearly there was more he wasn't seeing, because he was sinful and bad and not meant to love anyone.

"Really?" Komui said, and his voice was the same old curious tone he always had when they discussed their research. It reminded Reever so much of their everyday life that he opened his eyes. Komui smiled at him tenderly. "Well, that's reassuring. I suppose we can add this to the list of things that have changed or gotten mixed up with translation. It's those damn linguists. Someone got it wrong and now we're all paying for their mistake."

"Hey, I'm one of those linguists," Reever chuckled weakly.

The relief bubbling in his belly made him shudder, and then a hysterical laugh burst out. He tried to stop, but the laughter kept coming, feeling like tears or sobs or something just as heart-wrenching.

"It's okay," Komui murmured, framing Reever's face with his hands. "Let it out. I know it's a lot."

With a gasp, Reever let the flood inside him burst, stomach unclenching and a tear slipping down his cheek.

"Yes, I know," Komui said, thumbs wiping the wet streaks away. "I know. It's so hard for so long. It's too big a weight to carry. It's wrong that any of us should have to carry it, and more wrong that the nature of this weight makes us carry it alone."

"You've…been alone too?" Reever gasped between shaky exhales.

"Not in carrying this burden, no. I started thinking when I saw Allen and Kanda. It took me a while; I knew I should disapprove, should step in, but I couldn't. I kept asking myself why. They're what made me realize it wasn't wrong. I told them so. They've been sharing quarters for several months now, and I must say they both seem worlds happier than I've ever seen them before."

"That explains the lack of fights," Reever laughed.

"Indeed."

"But you…you've been alone?" Reever asked.

Komui looked down. "In my own life, yes, I've been alone."

Closing his eyes, Reever leaned forward and kissed him again.

"Not anymore," he said. "It's my job to make sure you're taking care of yourself, Chief. Always has been."

"Yes," Komui said, voice trembling. "You can't leave me alone now. I've let you in."

"It's mutual," Reever said, words growing stronger.

Komui murmured an odd little laugh.

"It's now the first day of the last year of your twenties," Reever said. "I think you should start it right."

"Yes? And how's that?"

Reever raised an eyebrow.

Komui smiled crookedly, lashes fluttering. "I'm not saying no."

Reever took a breath, leaned in, and this time he initiated, loving how Komui seemed poised in waiting, how Komui shook a little when Reever kissed him. He'd never had someone _react_ like this to him. He took Komui's hand in his and squeezed, and Komui squeezed back, reassurance filling Reever's chest.

His entire tactile sense sparked at the point where their lips touched, so lightly at first, until Reever realized that the only thing that would stop Komui's trembling was him. That invigorated a part of him that had never been needed before, never been wanted, least of all by himself. Now it unlocked and stepped out in the sunlight for the first time.

He kissed Komui over and over, slow and gentle. The sounds in Komui's throat were small, velveteen, and Reever grasped Komui's shoulders for stability before doing something he'd wanted to do for a long time. When he left a trail of kisses down the skin of Komui's throat, he wasn't sure if it were normal or even pleasant, but Komui's fingers touched his cheek and urged him to keep going, so he did.

They kissed a lot that night, for a long time; Komui darting his lips over Reever's cheek and brow; Reever testing with his tongue to discover the heavenly secrets of Komui's mouth; Komui making him breathless when he bit Reever's lip and confiscated it as his own.

Somewhere at some point, the sunrise began to peek fingers into the room from the high-up windows.

"I didn't realize the mouth could actually tire," Komui murmured.

Reever traced his fingers over the base of Komui's throat where his pulse sprinted.

"Maybe," Reever suggested, "it's just a lack of exercise."

Komui hummed agreement and returned to kissing him.

* * *

That night (daytime, by that point) ended with the pair of them asleep in a tangle on Komui's sofa.

They parted at noon when they both woke up in a panic over all the work needing to get done.

If Reever had been nervous about what returning to their lives would mean for them, he shouldn't have been. As soon as the workday finished, they were back again in Komui's rooms, kissing again, and talking more this time, and it took all Reever's strength to leave after midnight to catch some sleep in his own bed.

They never kissed in public; never held hands where anyone could see. But they didn't hide the affection, either, when speaking or passing each other in the hall. Really, they were rather much like they'd always been, discussing and arguing and deciding, just with more smiles and deliberate tenderness there.

Komui was insistent that they didn't have to hide that. Emotions could and should just be.

"It's not like Central is here watching," he pointed out. "I don't think anyone in the science division would honestly give a single damn. Very few of the exorcists would, and I'm not sure about the finders, but… When you spend so much time around so many people of the world, learning new things which change the nature of how we view the world, it tends to give people open minds."

Reever had to say, after the first few anxious, rapturous weeks, that he agreed.

He also felt that folks in the science sections wouldn't notice anything different unless he and Komui made out in the middle of the lab—and even then, some of them might not get it.

What made him the most nervous was sharing quarters, but it was also the thing that exulted him the most. Being close at the end of the day, rolling his exhausted self into bed beside a snoring Komui, or being woken in the middle of the night when Komui tripped onto the mattress, was the most quotidian joy he'd ever felt.

All the better, too, because in that bed there was the privacy for intimacy and the space for more explorations. Kissing didn't keep to body parts that were typically visible, and every night seemed to see them a little more disrobed, a little more timid. Some part of Reever's mind still screamed at him from time to time that this was _not okay;_ but it felt right, and the joy on Komui's face was something Reever selfishly pursued.

And he wasn't alone in the battle against baseless guilt. When shame and fear halted Reever, Komui kept on, touching him softly and asking if he were okay. Together, they discovered things no amount of science had ever prepared him for, and heights that made Reever finally understand: this was why people married one another, and loved one another, and promised their lives to protecting each other.

This kind of trust and understanding was matchless.

* * *

Reever was wrapped around Komui's back one night, in a dead sleep with vague dreams where wild potions dripped into mathematical models for syntax. Someone shouted Komui's name, but Reever brushed it away; Komui would deal with it.

_Chief!_

Wake up, Reever thought, and poked Komui, or thought about it, before pulling Komui closer to himself. Reever had pulled an all-nighter the day before, and he wanted to stay in the warmth and the dark.

" _Chief!"_

"Dammit," Reever grumbled, and he knew he was awake now, Komui snoring in his arms. He didn't want to move a centimeter.

The shouting was a muffled cry about things gone wrong, though, and against his will he began to pay attention, until the voice on the other side of the wall shouted, "I'm sorry, Chief, but I'm coming in," and light struck Reever in the face.

"Section Chief?"

Reever sat up, met Johnny's gaze, and suddenly he was very, very awake.

The chill on his bare chest just highlighted the fact that he was undressed in Komui's bed, and the shivers made him flash from irritation to anger in an instant.

"Johnny, what do you think you're doing?" he demanded. "These are private quarters!"

"I'm sorry! It's an emergency! We need Chief Komui—"

"You know he doesn't wake up unless you threaten him with Lenalee. Get out. I'll wake him. And don't come in here! We'll be there in a minute."

"Right!" Johnny yelped, eyes zipping one last time between Reever and the sleeping form beside him before he slammed the door shut.

"Hmm," Komui said contentedly.

"Komui," Reever sighed, trying not to think what rumors might even now be spreading on the other side of that door. "We need you. Please wake up. Lenalee really doesn't want to get married."

"What?" Komui sat bolt upright. "I won't let him! If she doesn't want to, no one will make her."

He looked at Reever and blinked.

"You're needed out there," Reever sighed. "Some kind of emergency."

"Oh." Expression jumping, Komui darted out of bed and began sifting clothes out of the clutter.

"Another thing." Reever grabbed Komui's arm as he snatched up a pair of trousers. "Johnny came in here and saw us sleeping together."

Komui met his eyes. "Oh. Alright."

With a deep sigh, Reever let him go and they both dressed, Reever letting Komui exit first and face the chaos.

Reever's job, like usual, would be to clean up the mess.

* * *

Komui found Reever in Komui's office, handling papers and signing things. Reever and Lenalee had authority to sign off on some of the more busywork-type papers, and they both were a tremendous help when things blew up or, in this case, imploded.

"Reever," Komui said, closing the door. "Darling."

Reever looked up, his expression that calculating, big-brain look—including the dark bags under his eyes. The same look as if he were only thinking about the science. But it was more than that.

"Did you talk with Johnny Gill?" Komui asked. "He said he was looking for you."

"Yeah." Reever sifted a few more papers. "We talked."

Komui came over to the desk and stood beside him.

"How can I help?" Komui asked quietly.

Another long pause.

"I don't…"

Komui took the papers from Reever's hands. "Those I can file tomorrow. They're not urgent. Give me half of that other stack and I'll help."

Relaxing a little, Reever did so. Komui took the hard-back chair, forcing Reever to remain in the comfy one, and they set to work in easy silence.

Komui finished first and went to make coffee.

When he returned, Reever was staring at his finished pile.

"I thought you might need this," Komui said, touching his shoulder and handing him a mug.

"Thank you," Reever sighed, and at last he looked less like he was going to follow the example of the recent experiment and self-destruct.

Komui sipped his coffee and massaged Reever's shoulder, but he didn't ask questions.

"Johnny wanted to know if it's a regular thing." Reever took another long sip. "He wanted to know if this changed anything in terms of what he called us."

"As in…a label?"

"No." Reever looked up at him with a wry smile. "As in, our titles. And our surnames."

"That's precious," Komui chuckled. "What did you say?"

"I told him everything was the same as it has always been."

"Did you ask him not to tell other people?"

"No," Reever said, and Komui felt a dart of surprise. "I figure he's smart enough to know that. And…people around here don't care. Not really."

"Even at Central you'll find quite a few people who don't care," Komui said. "It's higher than that where it really starts to matter to people. Although the Great Generals can come down hard when it comes to ideas about 'sin' and all that."

Reever was silent for a moment.

"Your job would be in danger if anyone found out," he said.

Blinking, Komui pushed his glasses up his nose. "Yes. That's not surprising, though."

"But mine wouldn't," Reever said. "I'm far enough down the chain to be safe."

"And I'm quite glad of that," Komui said, squeezing his shoulder; Reever laid his hand on top of Komui's and held him there.

"You're protecting quite a lot of people," Reever said. "How can I help protect _you?_ "

Komui opened his mouth. Then closed it.

"I don't…"

"I can go back to sleeping in my quarters," Reever said. "I can…work more at my own desk, although to be honest your desk became my desk years ago."

"Yes."

Komui laughed, but it was faint.

"Please don't," he said. "Don't go back to…I _like_ having you around. It helps me focus. I sleep better when…"

Reever smiled up at him, then stood, taking Komui's hand in both of his.

"It was just a suggestion," he said gently. "If anything happened to you, I'd be upset too, remember?"

"I'm careful," Komui said. "So far nobody's ever had reason to report anything on me, and I've done plenty to merit it. People—well, people like me, and I know how to use that. And I'm good at hiding. If…If anything were to happen, and we were to become more enmeshed in Central or—heaven forbid, the Church itself decided to move in with us, things might have to be…adjusted. We could be more discreet if we had to be. But for right now, there are no eyes watching us with any particular scrutiny, and so…"

He laced his fingers through Reever's, taking a deep, needed breath.

"Let's have a normal life together, Reever Wenhamm. Will you live with me here, and sleep with me every night, and let me take care of you when things go wrong?"

"Yes," Reever whispered, and tilted his head against Komui's. "There is nothing I want more."

Komui inhaled, and when Reever looked up, Komui knew his eyes were glistening.

"I love you," Komui breathed. "Come to bed with me."

Reever planted a small kiss on his lips. "Always."

**Author's Note:**

> Komeever? Reemui? Idk what the ship name for them is, someone help.
> 
> Drop a comment!


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